(but you say he’s) Just a Friend….

by The Empress Of Cool

Man, there’s something about walking into a new year and the requisite self-evaluation. It’s no picnic.

I’m struggling with this issue — this thing. It’s not about parenting, but this issue directly affects how I parent my kid in the fine city of Augusta, Georgia. This ‘thing’ directly impacts how I move throughout this community and interact with local leaders. And it determines the language that I use when talking to creatives and entrepreneurs who find themselves at a crossroads in life and career.

Rhetorical question? Perhaps. Hypothetical? Could be.

At its core, it’s a relationship question…. Let’s get into it.

I’ve a friend. She has a cool life, lots of friends, great family (of course, because ME), makes decent money…. no ‘real’ problems. They ain’t crazy, no criminal record, never went off the rails (as far as I know) — just your average guy. Single, not looking.

 

 

She has this ”suitor” who lives in another city…. is quite wealthy, and comes to visit, albeit rarely. He is special, of course, we know that. He whisks her off to faraway places to do the stuff that fantasies are made of. The suitor’s entourage grantS her every desire, and all she has to do is snap a finger.

All of us — her friends — know this. However… when said suitor announces his visit, my friend gets REAL extra. She doesn’t answer her phone or email. If I need to talk, she’s unavailable. I understand this, so I don’t expect anything to change.

I still love her though. We all still love her. After her ‘vacation,’ we still show up with hugs and wine, listening to stories about things we’ll never experience…. hearing about how exhausted she is, how she’s glad it’s over, but knowing that she is counting down the days til next time.

We wonder why she doesn’t speak of US in such loving terms. because, we’re here with and FOR her the other 51 weeks, even as she spends inordinate amounts of time, money, and energy to impress someone who has enough money to buy her affection and adoration, but will never truly appreciate who she really is. WE are still here, holding her hair … once the glitter has faded and champagne has gone flat.

My friend: CITY of Augusta (leadership)
Suitor: Big Golf Tournament
My friends & I: CITIZENS of Augusta

Can’t you just hear the citizens of Augusta channeling Biz Markie, leaving voicemails on 311, singing “You… got what I need… but you say he’s just a friend…..”

We are still here when heavy rains flood our streets and our homes. We are still here, counting the homeless population in 20-degree weather without a concrete plan for how we will serve them. We are still here, as we move forward with a downtown parking management plan that no one truly knows how to implement. We are still here, as our solution to a failing public education system seems to be ‘change the test’ or ‘blame the parents’. We are still courting charity rather than demanding equity.

We are STILL HERE…. We are STILL HERE as our leadership continues to sing that hook on repeat, that our City is known for golf, yet our citizens cannot set foot onto that storied patch of land on Washington Road. And STILL… we cannot figure out a way to properly honor James Brown, a man who proudly represented Augusta 52 weeks a year, from wherever he stood — whether mountain or molehill.

We are still here… asking my girl if a hot date and a fat check once a year is the same as or better than love and respect year-round. Why? Because we love her? How did we get to this place? Are we good with it?

“I don’t need nobody to give me nothing. Open up the door. I will get it myself” James Brown

K Gordon